maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
