So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
