it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
