Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
