apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
