I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Naked Twister starts at high noon
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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