we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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