just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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