Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
