We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
