Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Buhtt sex?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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