I want to walk on stilts...naked
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
These tits shall not be calmed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
