did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
