I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
