She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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