I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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