she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
