Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
