her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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