Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
