I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
