nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
