Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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