last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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