what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
