I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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