he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
