So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
