Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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