Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
