Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
did i just pee glitter
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
