I'm gonna have a badass scar
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
