I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
