my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Of course I have a pirate flag
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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