if you like me you must not know who I am
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
