I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
should my penis look like a turkey
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
