"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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