sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
