I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize