I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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