My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
