i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
