we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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