I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
