so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
