watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
