I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
