Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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