In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
