i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
