and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
