I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
